the Free Fall Poem series

૮ℓเσɳα Chee Pui Khei 徐𣳽琪

01
[are you still magical in the free fall?]

why
the ones
who once clapped for you
just wanna
break
what you build?

For the BROKEN MINDS
behind all the BRO - KEN
$y$Tem$?
or CLAWS of greed?
or worse,
in the \/\puppet-/\/pulling\/\ strings?

you've been raised in the asylum,
thinking that you're out of it
by the time you've grown up

but lil' did you know
that every bias from the past
haunt you like motion sickness
when you look at your own story

b
e
c
a
u
s
e

you've been through every page
you've been involved in every tech boom
you've been trying to break the reality
with a BROKEN mind
yourself
with your l 0 $ T soul
thinking
that
you
might be
forever EVOLVING
while you're
forever breaking,
forever leaving, &
forever hurting,
whatever making the heart happy
for
yourself

Your B R A I N's killin' your <h3art

again & again...
AGAIN AND AGAIN
AGAINNN ANDDD AGAINNN ! ! !

but still, your heart
just hopes so much
to be embraced by
all
that
you could never understand
just yet.

YOU are annoyed
by the fact that
YOU TOO WERE ONE OF THE BROKEN MINDS
when you wake up one day
TO FIND YOU DESIGNING
WHATEVER
FOR YOUR DESIRE
that are so confusing.

YOU STILL AREN't FORGIVING
YOU love 'em and YOU H A T E 'E M!
when
you look through
all the loveliest clouds across the multiverse
that they could've given you in the easiest ways
instead of
d
r
o
w
n
i
n
g
you into the sea of their broken pieces
behind all their unnecessary masks.

THERE
their broken parts still broke you into
p - i - e - c - e - s.

Million gazillion of p - i - e - c - e - s within your soul
as if you don't belong
like the fish almost dying on the road without water

THE PIECES
are just
all scattered

then,
all trapped
calling from(NOTfor) help within the lines
in the books
in the lock-up drawers
in the concealed walls of a secret room
in the tall castle, even taller than Rapunzel's
in the hideaway of Wonderland that only you came to, following your dragon
in the island of Motunui, that's faraway from all of the others, if we never sail
in the Nova Incognita nobody has yet to discover
in the branching timeline that nobody jumps into with their Tempads
in the middle of the nights.

Look at all the things around.
All the things
shape shifted you surround.
in this journey and beyond.
how fascinating,
yet, how pathetic?

Because you hope?
Because you trust?
Because you can't unsee what you saw, so damn much?

Do you belong?
Do you surrender?
Do you run away before you free fall?

'Cause
that's what you do?
that's what you feel?
that's how you protect the heavy heart in you?

Just run away.
And, away you go.
Away, away, into a labyrinth you go.

Away
from 'em
who gave you thorns, stitches and roars.

'Be your true self,'
you whisper to your heart.
so true from the beginning,
so true from the heart
when you don't have any scars
as you just gaze into the sky with all the lovely stars
before your heart stayed behind all these shadowed bars.

at the exact moment
when you
live with the unicorns,
fly with the fairies,
play with the wizards,

when
fall from the sky,
you still smile from within thinking 'bout 'em.

YOU'VE ONCE BELIEVED IN ALL THESE.

do you, still?

***

...,

the biomedical engineer
at the tortured poets department

...